this is AMAZING!!! crazy, i'm blogging three times in a month!!! hahhaha :) that's new. oh wells, here goes

nothing much happened, i went for a dinner with my father's old classmates and it was SO SO BORING... ><>Chinese.. and i was blur... hahhaha crazy... worse thing is, yes i did have my father's phone which could go online... but the blogger was utterly useless... so oh wells :)

love made me, love created me, love saved me :) love is such a powerful thing. love can crush you, destroy you or even give you new purpose in life to live :) an example of love that gives you new purpose? a new family member, a new best friend or even God's love.. imagine someone whom you don't know or you hate dying for you.. wouldn't you actually wonder why? the simple answer? love.. i CANNOT imagine a love that great hahha... if you asked me to die for someone i loved i would immediately ask why and what is happening

there is so many things that i do in life people say "honestly? it's not enough.." you suddenly feel you need to push yourself more, but honestly? we're not here to please people, we're here to please God. and God says that he loves us just the way you are. it doesn't mean that we're not ever suppose to improve ourselves, it just means, that He is pleased, as long as we mean what we're doing. as the saying "it's the thought that counts" sometimes, a lot of people take that for-granted i think. we want material, tangible things until sometimes we just only want things and not realise how much we mean to that person who gave us the gift. i think thats a character that can be seen in everybody in the world some point or another... and that's not really good, because sometime we don't appreciate the person for what they've done for us, we want people who can give things. i guess even i need to learn that lesson :) because there are so many people in my life who deserve so so much better than that ;)

~the end for today then~

hahahha a year has almost passed... ALREADY :) time has been flying around me, and i guess i'm pretty okay with that. i'm so used to flying around too

these few months has been really very hard.. the ups and downs of life, and yet again every now and then i'm encouraged by people around me to get up and go... like vi nie, she's just so strong trying to get past the unfair challenges life give her... and she encourages me too, to be myself. and then esther helps me in class and makes me laugh and hits me when i'm being stupid she keeps me stuck on earth, sane :)... and also wesley... the stupid stupid person who's so easily annoyed by me and also merajuks alot everytime i say he doesn't tell me things.. wes is like a pillar that holds me in earth too.. but in a different way from esther i guess...t's really easy to tell him things... he's always listening even though he seems so quiet when you tell him things :) but he's listening.. trying to help... THANK YOU GUYS... you mean so much to me that you'll never know how much... you cost more to me than the whole world put together.. everyone of you means crazy alot to me.. so much you'll never know how much you actually mean to me.. but in so many different ways.. hahhaa end of line, you're all special in different ways, in your own ways treasure you guys so much

and then, there's been the days where i just felt wretched this year, like cramming my stupid end year papers to the last minute... i feel stupid for doing that, but i'm glad for all this... experiences, sweet and bitter life. and then sometimes i just feel like tearing all my hair out and start shouting at everyone in the world how everything is just so unfair... and then it just goes when the thing is out of my sight or thought... there are times where i feel like crying and then i tell myself" stop being stupid... you've got so many things to do, get up and stop wasting time and getting stupidly bengkak eyes"... i'll probably smile at this years down the road :).. my mood swings are crazy.. i'm like an out of control tornado :) a living one, and i love it.

honestly? tornadoes are the epitome of life :) sometimes it can carress people and give people lovely breeze... and then some days, it can be absolutely mild, hardly any danger, then it can be the most dangerous thing, killing people around it.. i guess it means the people you hurt. the breeze? the people you comfort. we humans are probably dangerous creatures i guess :) but we have a choice whether to use it well, use our words well to help, to comfort, to sooth wounds, or to destroy, to crush or to bring people down. it's so amazing, sometimes we can actually be angels sent from heaven to help, but sometimes we're like devils sent to destroy. i think something we always should keep in mind? we can stop what we do, but we can't change what is done. we can't stop the scars that are there, but we can avoid giving people scars, we can stop hurting people and we can choose to love. it is really never too late for change in life.

~the end~